My funniest experiences of pumping at work

I  previously shared my experience as a working breastfeeding mother (see here for my top tips on pumping at work and here for a more recent update). Today, I thought I would share some funny stories linked to breastfeeding at work. Because shit happens ! And if it happened to you, don’t worry, you are not alone !

  • The leakage incident

That morning, I had back to back meetings and didn’t anticipate enough to carve out a pumping break. I also did not put on breast pads that morning because I hate wearing them. Let me tell you : lesson learnt !

At around 11, I found myself in a meeting that overran. I was very conscious that my breasts were hard and very full. And the more I got scared that I would leak, the more I could feel the letdown getting close. And then disaster struck…

I tried to cross my arms on my boobs like they advise you on La Leche League website but it didn’t work. I leaked through my bra and onto my shirt. Did people notice ? Oh yes, I was the chair of the meeting…

  • The breastpump flaunt

When you pump a lot, you sometimes forget that a breast pump is not a device that people see everyday.

I was about to leave work when my boss asked me for that magazine that I had mentioned to him earlier. I opened my back pack to get it for him and had to empty a few things to reach the magazine at the bottom.

Without even realising it, I proceeded to put on his desk my breast pump and two of the bottles of milk I had pumped. He is a gentleman so didn’t say anything… When I realised, I just thought it was hysterical but I am not sure he agreed…

  • The extended pit stop

Train travel to London with a male colleague. I knew I wouldn’t have a chance to pump after arriving as we had meetings with commercial partners all day. So I had to pump on the train, in the toilets.

My colleague was a bit surprised when I left for the bathroom with my backpack and did not return for a good 15 minutes.

He probably thought I was doing a massive poo… or snorting coke !

  • The big shortage

That story happened to EVERY pumping mother I know.

You arrive to your pumping room, take out the pump, take out your boobs and realise you are missing something. In my case, it was something to put the milk in. Now, that’s not the worst thing that I could have forgotten (that would have been the actual pump because that would have involved massive discomfort). But it is still a very impractical situation.

I had to  get creative. I fetched my coffee mug, pumped in it (all hunched over the table) and then walked with that mug full of milk to the kitchen to throw it all away (sob).

Of course, I did meet people along the way, who knew very well what the content of that mug was !

  • The nipple display

When you breastfeed, and in particular when you pump, your nipples become huge.

That day, I had a very thin top on. Too thin. My nipples showed all day. 90’s style. Rachel from Friends style… Sooo professional (not in a good way) !

 

I hope you enjoyed that ! I laughed writing it :). They say that once you have given birth, pudeur goes out the window. Certainly is true in my case !

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