The day the second lockdown started…
So us French are back in lockdown, for the second time since March 2020 and to be honest, it is hitting me more than I anticipated.
When the first lockdown was decided, we were still living in the UK. I was 10 days away from giving birth to our third child. My mind was not focused on work but on my family and I was prepared to spend lots of times indoor anyway in the spring because I would be taking care of a newborn. Also, we had a house with a garden back then and the UK’s version of lockdown was milder than the French.
Fast forward to today, the first day of my second lockdown, and this time, I am feeling shell shocked, trapped and overall a bit sad. My outlook on this lockdown is totally different now that I am back to work.
As long as I can remember, I have felt pressure to perform. From primary school to professional life, I always had this urge to do effective things and to work with ambition. Not a bad thing in itself, but in my case, a source of anxiety as much as of pleasure. So the first lockdown was a welcome parenthesis of mindfulness. As much as it is hard for me to admit, I loved living the life of a 50s housewife for 3 months.
But now that I am ready to go again, family complete, settled back in my home country, new job, this lockdown is just cutting my wings. I feel like most people felt in March I guess : deflated, anxious, frustrated, demotivated.
And I have less time for baking !